Separating Attitude From Performance, The Diaz Sisterhood, & The Different Styles Of Dating Communication

Intro

In this episode of Auxoro, Zach talks with Elsa Diaz, a professional golfer. Throughout the episode, Zach and Elsa discuss her experiences in college, her relationship with her sister, communication styles within relationships, and giving it her best. This episode is a great glimpse into Elsa’s journey as a professional athlete, as well as how she strives to be her best in life and in golf.

Key Takeaways

Elsa reminisces about her experience at the University of Richmond:

Elsa loved Richmond and felt it was a perfect place for her to pursue golf and receive a good education.
She realized part of the way through her education, how many resources were available to her and she really appreciated that and sought to take advantage of that.
5:22 – “It was a perfect path for what I wanted to do.”
At one point, Elsa worked three jobs, along with doing school and golf. She was a server at a restaurant, and at weddings, for the golf course where she practiced golf, as well as part of the production team for athletics at school.
Each summer of college, she tried to live life as much like a professional golfer as she could, so she would be prepared to live that lifestyle when the time came.
12:12 – “I just felt if I want to be the number one golfer in the world, then I better start acting like one, because when I get there, then I wouldn’t have to change.”

Elsa’s relationship with her sister and golf:

14:52 – “Having my sister at the University of Richmond was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.”
The time together, but away from home and family, was helpful for them to build their relationship with each other, and to grow into who they wanted to be as the Diaz Sisters.
Elsa explains that her sister is exactly what she needs in a manger and that her sister’s personality is well suited to managerial responsibilities.

Elsa’s reality as a professional golfer who has aspirations of achieving top-level success:

When Elsa works with her dad on her golf swing mechanics, she feels like she’s going somewhere, like she has something she’s working at.
She discovered a lot about herself in the first year of playing professionally, like how three weeks is the maximum length she can handle being on the road before she has to return home for a visit.
22:52 – “I’ve really seen that slowly you just let the life kind of build you, and you just trust that it’s going to make you who you want to be and get you where you want to go.”
Elsa doesn’t feel like golf is her job, but that everything she does kind of revolves around who she is as a golfer.

How Elsa manages to separate her attitude from her performance:

Elsa’s parents always encouraged her to have a good attitude, regardless of what happened.
She was raised to work hard at being able to leave whatever happens on the golf course, out on the golf course.
26:26 – “At the end of the day, it’s just a game, I could be doing something that I don’t want to do.”
Her family, which means her coach and her manger, often offer her encouragement after she’s had a bad round.
29:38 – “I just wanted to be a player that even when I play bad, when I play good, I’m exactly the same person.”

Elsa’s takeaway from a time she played like someone she wasn’t:

As a junior golfer, Elsa had the idea that being a professional golfer and athlete meant you were very focused and serious. As she grew though, she realized that this didn’t match who she was as a person.
32:52 – “I wanted to make sure that at the end of the day, I was having a lot of fun inside of golf, and it took a long time.”
Her family, which means her coach and her manager, often offer her encouragement after she’s had a bad round.
33:14 – “I want people to enjoy watching me play. I want people to get the same joy that I have playing golf.”
Now that Elsa has worked to be consistent in golf with who she is as a person, she feels like she’s really in her element, and can really go somewhere.

Elsa’s experience navigating dating as well as communication in relationships in general:

In college, Elsa struggled with seeing golf and her normal life as two separate things and this affected how she dated. She felt like she had a normal life where dating fit in, but that it didn’t fit in with golfing.
37:43 – “I think that golf, in a good way, puts a lot of pressure on the relationship and communication.”
Elsa thinks that the effort should come from both sides and that it’s helpful to have the important conversations early on.
She has dated on and off the road, athletes and non-athletes, and overall feels like it’s been a lot of fun.
Elsa believes in dating, that it’s best to be with someone whose communication style matches.
With her sister, they’ve had to navigate how best to communicate with one another, in their sister relationship and working relationship.
She believes that direct communication is always important.

How Elsa works to give it her best, even when she isn’t having a great game:

Elsa’s Dad had always encouraged her to focus on her swing, not just to apply temporary fixes.
When she realizes that she’s off, she focuses on returning to the basics, by thinking through each muscle, and detaching emotion from the situation.
53:37 – “It’s just like okay, I’m here to do a job, and this is what I’m going to do throughout.”
She always comes back to following the instructions, and when she focuses on that, the nerves are not an issue.

Elsa’s practices for staying in the moment:

Elsa tries to practice being thankful by writing what she’s grateful for and also thinking about it throughout her daily life.
She also enjoys listening to motivating and thought-provoking podcasts, podcasts on creativity, and reading books.
01:01:21 – “I see golf more as my craft than my sport.”
01:04:39 – “Things that we already have, we’re thankful for, and things that we don’t have, we just want."
Elsa has practiced leaning into those feelings and studying more about these topics in order to apply them to her golf game.

Connect with Elsa:

https://www.instagram.com/elsadiaz___/

https://twitter.com/ElsaDiazz_

https://www.facebook.com/ElsaDiaz.ed

Resources mentioned:

“The Hidden Brain” Podcast: https://hiddenbrain.org/stories/

“The Five-Minute Journal”: https://www.intelligentchange.com

“Feel Free to Prosper”: https://feelfreetoprosperbook.com

“The Heart’s Code”: https://www.amazon.com/Hearts-Code-Tapping-Wisdom-Energy/dp/0767900952

“Big Magic”: https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/